Who You Need to Talk To About Your Divorce (and What to Say)

Uncontested Divorce Mediation

Posted September 21, 2022

When you decide to move forward with Denver divorce mediation, it can be a very challenging time, one where you may need to lean on others in your life. That being said, it can be very hard to figure out who you can really talk to. Some people will want to shout it from the rooftops, while others won’t want to tell anyone (because they feel like they have failed). 

It can be a really personal thing, to decide who you want to talk to about your divorce. Here are the people that you need to tell about your divorce. 

So, who do you tell about your divorce?

Your children. 

Your children need to hear about the divorce from you. You don’t want them to hear about it from anyone else. For this reason, they should be one of the first people that you tell. The best way to do this is by sitting them down together and just letting them know that you are getting a divorce. Then, you can talk about what is going to change in their lives. 

Your parents and family. 

You are also going to want to tell your parents and family right away. You are going to need to be able to lean on them in the following months, so it is a good idea to tell them before they hear it from someone else. They may need to help you get through Denver divorce mediation and as you start to move on with your life. They may even step up and help with the children as you figure out your new life. 

Your friends. 

Your friends are probably equally important to you as your family, so you are going to want to talk to them right away also. Hopefully, they will stand by you and help you as you start this next chapter of your life. 

Your co-workers. 

Many people see their co-workers more than they see their family. Depending on your job, you may feel pretty close to your co-workers and consider them good friends. However, it can be hard to figure out if you need to tell them about your divorce. You should definitely tell your boss, since it may affect your job over the next few months. You may need more time off to go to your Denver divorce attorneys. You may need more time to spend with your children as they too are going through this difficult time. 

As for your co-workers, you can pick and choose who you tell. That being said, word will get around and others may be hurt that you didn’t feel the need to tell them. A quick “I’m getting divorced” could be enough to satisfy your co-workers. 

Other people in your life. 

You can pick and choose who you feel the need to tell. You may want to let people know when it comes to your children. Their teachers and coaches may need to know, so that they can be on the lookout for any problems. 

So, how do you go about telling people about the divorce? 

Don’t tell people right away.

Instead, take time to process what is going on with your Denver divorce mediation. Even though you know that it is the right thing to do, you are still going to be dealing with a range of emotions, from sadness, failure, anger, and even relief. Take the time to deal with your emotions, before you start telling people. 

When you are ready, make sure that you know what you are going to say. 

You shouldn’t just wing these conversations. You need to have a plan and then stick with them. It may help to talk to your spouse to decide what you are going to tell people.

That being said, you don’t owe them anything! 

If you don’t feel like telling them why you are getting divorced, you don’t have to. Simply, I’m getting divorced should be enough! 

You can even tell them that you aren’t up for questions. 

Most people will have a lot of questions, but it is acceptable to tell them that you aren’t ready to answer any questions. 

You should be prepared for a range of emotions. 

Your family and friends may be sad for you and your family. They may be angry. They may be happy for you, if they have seen how miserable you have been lately.

Be aware, there may be some very inappropriate responses.

Some people just don’t know what to say, so they say whatever comes out. Sometimes, these responses are very inappropriate. 

You may also get unwanted advice. 

When telling people about your divorce, you may get all kinds of advice, such as stick it out. Many older people will tell you not to give up, no matter how bad it is. Others will give you the name of a Denver divorce attorneys that they know. If you have children, people may have advice on child custody and support. Just remember, it is your life, and you have to do what works best for you and your family. 

You should never bad-mouth your ex.

Many people want to vent about how horrible their spouse was and how bad their marriage was. However, this isn’t going to help you in the future. If you end up getting back together, it can make for difficult times when your family and friends get together. Even if you don’t get back together, if you have children, your family and friends are still going to have him or her in their lives. You don’t need to make the situation any more awkward than it is going to be. 

Be ready to set boundaries.

As you tell people, you can set boundaries. You may not want to talk about it with some people, and they need to understand that. You may not feel like answering their questions, because you think that they are just being nosy. 

Going through the Denver divorce mediation process can be personal, and it can be hard to tell others about it. However, you need to tell your children, family, and friends before they hear it from someone else! Other than that, you can pick and choose who you tell (and what you tell them). A simple “I’m getting divorced” should be enough for most people. You don’t want to bad mouth your ex, in case it gets awkward in the future. You may want to avoid questions, but you should also be prepared for all of the reactions that you are going to get. Some of them may even be inappropriate! 

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