The Top 7 Reasons for Divorce

Uncontested Divorce Mediation

Posted April 25, 2019

When people get married, they often believe that their marriage will last forever. However, the fact is that nearly half of all marriages will end in separation or uncontested divorce in Chicago, making divorce a fairly common occurrence. Even though these numbers are well-known, it often takes people by surprise when they find out that a loved one is going through a divorce, or that their spouse wants a divorce, which can leave them wondering how things got to this point. While divorce is rarely caused by one thing and is instead usually the result of a variety of culminating factors that arise over a period of months or years, there are certain common reasons people cite for getting divorced including:

Getting Married for the Wrong Reasons

While many people going through a divorce may ask themselves why their relationship fell apart, some may find themselves asking why they got married in the first place. While marriage should be about love and commitment, some people may come to realize that they got married for the wrong reasons. Without that base of love and commitment to one another, marriage is almost doomed to fail from the beginning, and people who get into marriage for the wrong reasons are much more likely to get a divorce. Common reasons for getting married that lead to divorce include marrying for money, getting married because it was expected of you, or getting married to someone you have been with for years because you think it is the right thing to do. Many times when a marriage ends, all you have to do is look at why the marriage began to understand why a couple is getting divorced.    

Loss of Individual Identity

While it is important for married couples to spend time together and have similar interests that they can share, it is not good for people to become codependent and lose their individuality in their relationship. The fact is that it is not healthy for couples to spend 100% of their time together, as this can cause one or both parties to feel as if they do not recognize themselves anymore. If you can’t remember when you last did something alone, had a girl’s night, or spent time with people who used to be your closest friends, then you may have lost yourself at some point during the relationship. This is a common cause for divorce as it can leave one or both parties feeling suffocated by the relationship, and they may even begin to resent their partner for distancing them from the people and places they once loved.

Substance Abuse

Another common reason cited for divorce is alcohol and/or drug use. The fact is that even when you love your spouse, addiction can make relationships difficult as their substance abuse problem may turn them into a completely different person. Although there are programs to help people recover from addiction, not everyone wants help or is even willing to admit when they have a problem. For some people, having a spouse refuse to get help for addiction can be the final straw, as it can be difficult to keep fighting to save someone who doesn’t want to save themselves.    

Money

Another common cause of divorce is money; however, contrary to what many people would think, it is often not a lack of money that leads to problems. One of the most common problems couples encounter with money is a difference in spending habits. If one person is a spender, and the other is a saver, this can lead to tensions regarding how money is used. Tensions can also arise if one spouse makes more money than the other, and if the couple has different financial goals for the future. When people are not financially compatible, this can lead to a variety of problems throughout their relationship. It is for this reason that many couples counselors and financial experts agree that it is critical for couples to know everything about each other’s finances –from their student loan debt to their spending habits– before they get married in order to reduce stress later on.        

Growing Apart

Even if a couple does everything right over the years, they may simply find that they grow apart. The fact is that time and life experiences can change who we are, and you might come to the realization that you, and your spouse, are not the same people you were when you got married. Sometimes couples find that they drift apart and no longer have the same feelings for each other that they once did, and that they no longer have anything in common. In fact, one study found that growing apart was the number three reason people chose for why they got a divorce. Fortunately, marriages that grow apart can often be ended amicably with an uncontested divorce in Chicago; divorce mediation is often a good option for these couples.   

Constant Arguing

Difficulty communicating, and an inability to resolve conflicts, is another common reason for any relationship to fail. A problem that often occurs is that couples will stop listening to each other, and the same arguments will reoccur, often escalating each time. Eventually, each party will begin to feel as though they are not being heard, appreciated, or understood, which can cause the relationship to break down.    

Infidelity

Unsurprisingly, one of the most common causes of divorce is infidelity. In most cases, couples are not able to move past extra-marital affairs, leading to divorce. What many people may find surprising though is that as many as 40% of couples are able to stay together after an affair, with these couples claiming that the affair helped them to address problems that had crept into their relationship over the years.

Contact a Divorce Mediator in Chicago Today

Unfortunately, even when a couple does everything in their power to stay together, sometimes uncontested divorce in Chicago ends up being the best option for both parties. However, divorce does not have to involve conflict and argument. Couples who decide to divorce amicably may benefit from the cost-effective, low conflict nature of an uncontested divorce in Chicago. Feel free to contact us to learn more about uncontested divorces and to find out whether divorce mediation may be right for you.