Six Tips to Make Divorce Mediation Work For You

Uncontested Divorce Mediation

Posted March 8, 2023

At Split Simple, we are proud to offer “uncontested divorces.” That being said, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the divorce was easy and that there was no conflict. However, that simply is not true. It just means that both parties were able to work together to come up with a Denver divorce mediation plan that works for everyone. 

There are plenty of disagreements that occur during Denver divorce mediation. It is how you handle them that makes or breaks the divorce. You need to go into the process ready to compromise and come up with a solution that both of you can live with. 

Here are some tips to make mediation work for you. 

Choose the right mediator. 

Not all mediators are made the same. That being said, there are two styles of mediators. Those who are willing to make suggestions, and those who just listen and let you work it out on your own. If you don’t think that you will have many conflicts, you may be able to go with someone who will just listen, write it down, and let you move on.

If you think that you are going to need someone who is willing to help, you are going to have to look for someone who is willing to do that. You may go into mediation knowing that it is going to be really hard to come up with a solution for certain things, such as who gets the house and what to do about the children. If you know that, you are going to need someone who is going to help you through it. 

Be prepared and don’t give up. 

A lot of couples start with mediation, and then as soon as things get rough, they are ready to go battle it out in court. If you want mediation to work, you need to be prepared to put in the hard work. Even when it feels impossible, it isn’t, unless you say that it is. If both of you want it to work, it definitely can. You both just need to put in the work, be prepared to listen, and be ready to come up with a good compromise.

If you are going into mediation thinking that it isn’t going to work, you are going to be right. It won’t work if you are going to want to go to court as soon as things get hard. So, go into mediation with an open mind. 

Know what you want out of the divorce and what you are willing to compromise on.

Before you even meet with your mediator, you need to have a plan. What is non-negotiable, and what are you willing to compromise on? Even better, you should know why you feel that way, so that you are able to talk about your reasons. 

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If you are in college and your spouse was paying for it, you may not be able to pay for it once the Denver divorce mediation process is over. Are you going to want help with finances, so that you don’t have to drop out? Maybe you are willing to ask for a smaller amount, instead of all of it. Do you want to keep the house, or are you prepared to start over? Do you want to sell the house so that neither of you get it? 

It really helps to be prepared when you go into mediation. If you don’t know what you really want and what you are willing to compromise on, you are going to struggle through the negotiations. You aren’t going to have anywhere to start the process, so give yourself some time to figure this out. 

Know when it is time to listen.

Part of mediation is listening. While you may be fighting over the house or the children, try to figure out why both of you want what you want. Maybe he wants to keep the house, so that he can be close to the children when needed. He knows that you are going to move in with your parents until you get your feet back under you, and you don’t need it.

Maybe money is going to be an issue post-divorce and your children may need to find a public school instead of the expensive private school. Your ex may want to go back to college after your Denver divorce mediation and need help paying for it, or that may be a reason you won’t get as much alimony as you deserve. 

When coming up with a plan for the children, think about them first. 

Though parents are quick to fight for their children, it is important to take a step back and figure out what is best for them. If the one parent works sixty hours a week, he or she isn’t going to be able to have full-custody. If they are used to one parent helping with their homework every night, that person should still have that opportunity. If they spend ninety percent of their time with one parent, they are going to struggle if they are now required to spend eighty percent of their time with the other parent. 

So, take a look at your children’s schedule, along with yours and your ex so that you can come up with something that works for both of you. One parent may only have time on the weekends to spend with their children, so they need to be given that opportunity. You don’t even have to choose one parent to have them certain days. You can continue to work together to make sure that the children are taken care of, even with two working parents. You may “babysit” your children in the evenings while your ex works, and then they will sleep at the other home when he or she gets off of work, due to the school district. Your parenting plan can be as unique as your family. 

It is also important to remember that your parenting plan can change.

Seasons come and go when it comes to parenting. Your children may need you a lot because they are young, and once they become teenagers and start driving, they may come and go between you as they like. You might not need your parenting plan anymore, because both of you spend plenty of time with your children! 

Denver divorce mediation is often the best choice for people, as long as they are prepared to do the work. They need to know what they want, or what they would like. It helps to know what you are willing and not willing to compromise on. You also need to be willing to listen as you work together to figure out how your post-divorce life is going to look like! You can even come up with a parenting plan, as long as you are patient. You need to think about your children and what is best for them. This will make sure that your children get to spend time with both of you in a fair way. 

Split Simple

1624 Market Street #202

Denver, CO 80202