Negative Aspects of Divorce on Children (and What You Can Do About It)

Uncontested Divorce Mediation

Posted March 22, 2023

Denver divorce mediation is often thought of in a negative light. The marriage has failed. There must be something wrong with the couple that they can’t make it work. Those who are going through this difficult time often feel like they have failed. They may have a lot of regrets, and they don’t know where to turn to start building their life over. 

That being said, not everything is about the couple themselves. Divorce can be downright challenging for the children. Their entire future is going to change, and they don’t really have any say in anything. Even children who are adults can struggle with the divorce, even if they don’t live at home anymore. Though little children may be alright, children in school and teenagers can be really affected by the divorce. 

Even worse, they are very good at hiding their feelings and how they are doing. For that reason, you really need to keep a close eye on your children as you go through the Denver divorce mediation (and for a period of time afterward). 

Here are some things that you should look for. 

Drastic change in grades. 

Many children who are dealing with an upheaval at home will have problems when they go to school. A good student may stop caring. They may forget to do their homework and fail some of their tests. They just can’t deal with everything that is going on with their life. 

Trouble with others. 

Many parents notice that their children struggle to get along with others, even those that they have gotten along with in the past. They may push their friends away and become a loner. They may start fights in school, or instigate others to hit them first (so that they don’t get in trouble). You may start getting calls from the school because your children aren’t behaving like they used to. 

Trouble with authority. 

These children may also struggle with those that are in charge. They may talk back to their teachers and other leaders, who are simply trying to help them. They may start to rebel against the rules and those who are in charge. They may purposely act up in order to get your attention, as well as the attention of others.

Mood swings. 

Many teenagers deal with anxiety and depression, though it is much more common in children whose parents are going through a divorce. Suicide is rampant, so it is important to keep an eye on your children’s moods as you start to build a new life with them. 

Bad behavior.

Many children of divorce do what is not expected of them. They may find themselves experimenting with drugs and alcohol. They may start to hang out with the wrong crowd, and they may find themselves in serious legal trouble if you don’t catch them right away. 

So, what can you do to prevent this?

Be a parent to your children.

It is very easy to lose yourself in the struggle of getting divorced, dividing everything up, moving, and finding a new normal. However, you can’t forget about your children. In fact, they may need you even more now than they did before. They need to know that you will stop everything if they need you!

That being said, you also need to be a parent and take charge of your children. If you let them do whatever they want, they will get in trouble. If you go the other way and become too strict, you are going to be dealing with some rebellion. You need to find a happy medium of being in charge, while still being the one that they come to when they need something. 

If you don’t have custody of your children, you need to do everything that you can to stay in their lives. 

If you have visitation, you should never miss a moment with your children. They need to know that they can count on you to come when you say that you are. They need to know that, if you need them, you are only a phone call away! 

Whether you have custody or just visitation, you need to find a way to work together for the sake of your children.

The sooner that you are able to co-parent, the better off your children will be. You need to find ways to get along, so that your children have both of you for every special day in their life. Both of you should be able to go to games and school events to support your children. 

You also need to compromise when it comes to visitation and custody.

There are going to be times when you are going to want your children with you, and it isn’t your turn to have them. Your family may be having a get-together, and you would love to take your children. So, if you are able to work together, you may be able to take your children to everything that you want, as long as you can give and take when it comes to what your ex wants also! 

Don’t put your children in the middle.

Many parents end up putting their children in the middle, even if they don’t realize it. You should never complain about your children’s other parent in front of them. They know that things aren’t great, but they don’t need to know everything about the situation. 

Don’t be afraid to get help.

Therapy can be a great way to help you deal with your feelings, as well as teaching you how to help your children through this difficult time. Your children may also benefit from talking to a therapist to help them find better ways to cope. You may also want to look into support groups, so you can surround yourself with others who are dealing with Denver divorce mediation (or have already found peace on the other side)! 

Children of divorce are more likely to have trouble in school and with their peers, as well as authority. Your children who may have always done well in school may stop caring, and you may notice bad grades. Some children start fights with others. They may rebel against authority. You may also be looking at depression. 

That being said, your children can get through this with your help. You need to find ways to work with your ex, and let your children know that you are there for them! There is also nothing wrong with getting help, if you or your children need it! 

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