My Denver Divorce Attorney Won’t Let Me Seek Mediation

Uncontested Divorce Mediation

Posted August 24, 2022

There is an inherent conflict between the interests of certain types of Denver divorce attorneys and the Denver divorce mediation process. Why? It’s about how you use (and pay for) your time when preparing for a divorce.

The goal of a Denver divorce mediator is to help both spouses find mutually agreeable solutions in the shortest amount of time. A mediator will help spouses work out disagreements, sort finances with the most practical and fair methods, and make sure your divorce agreement allows both spouses to build an independent life after separation. If there are children involved, a divorce mediator can help parents work through the highly emotional matter of child custody to build a plan that can grow with the family and facilitate co-parenting.

Why Divorce Lawyers and Divorce Mediators Work Differently

denver divorce attorney

The traditional divorce lawyer system and divorce mediation technically work on two different priorities. Denver divorce attorneys are obligated to prioritize the needs of just one client, each spouse, in a divorce. They have to fight for their client’s best interest – and some interpret that as fighting to the exclusion of all other considerations. What a Denver divorce mediator wants is to see both spouses and all involved children or pets living happy, healthy lives after the divorce , which means working fast and working well together.

Divorce attorneys have also typically discouraged spouses from talking to each other for fear that agreements may arise that are not 100% aligned with the look-out-for-one approach.. This is also why traditional Denver divorce attorneys may discourage you from seeking divorce mediation – which considers the needs of both separating spouse – as opposed to the two-lawyer approach where each lawyer represents only one spu

Why Some LawyersPrevent You from Negotiating Without Them

In a long history of potentially vicious divorces, perhaps we can understand why many Denver divorce lawyers often actively discourage their clients from speaking to each other – that is – discourage spouses from talking once they are both represented by a lawyer. But this approach can prevent you from other practical conversation, like continuing to co-parent or manage the logistics of separation without two contentious lawyers present.

Some divorces really do need two separate and dedicated lawyers. If one spouse needs to be protected from the other, or in cases where spouses really can’t work together, two lawyers can get more done just by being emotionally removed and following the prescribed process. They will fight for spouses who want to do combat in the courtroom, and they will defend a spouse who may need devoted representation apart from the other.  They can even facilitate divorces between spouses who just can’t match schedules for live meetings.

However, for any spouses who can have a few quick, civil conversations and work out the terms of a practical departure, your priorities align exactly with that of a Denver divorce mediator. In fact, we encourage spouses to prepare paperwork and reach practical prior agreements before coming in so that our time mediating is as efficient and useful as possible.

Reaching Agreements Quickly and Efficiently

When you work with two divorce attorneys, often decisions get drawn out in the process of negotiation with offers and counter-offers. The formal approach works for some, but as Denver divorce mediators, we’ve found that the majority of modern divorces can be conducted through reasoned conversation and discussion of one practical goal at a time. Separating finances and physical assets, establishing two households, and building a custody and/or child support system as needed are each a step in the process.

Divorce mediation prioritizes reaching the right agreement quickly and efficiently. Each person agrees to compromise when necessary to achieve the mutual goal of an efficient and practical divorce. The mediator guides the process by knowing how to complete each necessary step and providing even third-party perspectives when disagreements arise. A mediator will help both spouses defend what they care about most and see the best path through to a mutual separation.

The Less Time You Need, the More Affordable Your Divorce Will Be

It’s also inherently true that the less time you need with any divorce professional assistance, the more affordable your divorce will be. The difference between a divorce that costs a few thousand dollars and a divorce that costs more than a nice house (unfortunately quite common) is the amount of time you need for consultation when coming to agreements and drafting your divorce documents to be ready for court approval.

This means two important things for spouses planning a reasonable and practical divorce.

First, that the more you can work out between yourselves over a few calm conversations and some document compiling, the more you’ll save. Many spouses start with a checklist of documents to collect and things to work out, like whether you’re each taking the car you drive most or selling them both and splitting the difference. Or if either of you minds if you take your favorite or most-used furniture to separate homes. You can look up custody plan styles and discuss them with your children, then come into your first Denver divorce mediation or consultation session armed with everything you need to get right to the business of forging a strong divorce agreement. In this way, you save several billable hours of being told what to collect and being given the divorce onboarding speech you can read about just as easily online.

The second thing is that any process that shortens your needed consult hours will also save you money. While two-lawyer negotiations help some, they also lengthen a potentially very efficient set of conversations into multiple negotiation meetings charged for the time fo two lawyers. With Denver divorce mediation, your mediator likes to see a prepared portfolio, and they are ready to help informed spouses run through a quick, well-built divorce.

Are There Denver Divorce Attorneys Who Will Work with Your Divorce Mediator?

Absolutely. If you already have a divorce attorney involved in your divorce, Split Simple has a prepared process for involving them in the negotiations to make sure your interests are fully represented and that the lawyer. We know that your current lawyer may be someone you deeply trust. You may even be consulting with them on whether we’re the right choice for your divorce proceedings. If so, we are honored to welcome your lawyer to become part of the process.

We are also prepared to accommodate the invested input of older children and other significant members of your family or your life who may have a profound or highly relevant input on the situation. Each divorce can be handled with the unique needs and family structure of the clients in mind.

Divorce Mediation is Available to Any Spouses Ready to Work Together

Denver divorce mediation is available to any resident of the state of Colorado. It doesn’t matter if you already have an attorney or don’t – or if your spouse already has representation or not. You can schedule divorce mediation and receive a resulting well-built divorce agreement at any time that you and your spouse can meet, virtually or in person. Split Simple is here to help spouses separate cleanly, fairly, and efficiently whenever you are ready to meet and work the process through.

Split Simple

1624 Market Street #202

Denver, CO 80202