Make Divorce Less Complicated: 5 Questions to Ask Your Mediator

Uncontested Divorce Mediation

Posted February 29, 2024

Filing for a divorce can be incredibly difficult. Therefore, if you and your spouse are in the midst of a divorce, you might benefit from mediation, instead of immediately choosing the litigation process. Although there are many benefits to engaging in the mediation process, there are a few questions you should ask your Denver divorce mediator, to ensure you’re informed about the ins and outs of the process. Here are 5 essential questions to ask your mediator; after asking these questions, you’ll know if you have chosen the right mediator for your situation:

1. Would Mediation Be Right for Me and My Partner?

Before deciding to proceed, you need to know if mediation would be the right choice for both yourself and your spouse. The good news is, in many instances, mediation is a wonderful choice for couples filing for divorce. There are many benefits to the mediation process, including the following:

  • The process is affordable.
  • It is fairer than the litigation process often is.
  • You’ll certainly save money and time.
  • Everything that happens within the mediation process is confidential.
  • Usually, both parties leave satisfied with the results.
  • If there are children involved, they will be put first.
  • The process has less formalities.
  • It leads to a more amicable divorce.

With all these positive things being said, you might be wondering “When would Denver divorce mediation not be right for me and my partner?” There are exceptions to this rule, but by and large, mediation is not the right choice when there is domestic abuse in a relationship. When this is the case, you will likely be advised to not proceed with the mediation process. For more information about your specific circumstance, be sure to talk to your Denver divorce mediator for direct guidance.

2. How Do You Conduct the Mediation Process?

Whether you’re looking for a new doctor, a new housekeeper, or a new school for your children to attend, you want to make sure you find the person or the place that’s the right fit. The same goes for mediators. It’s vital that you feel like you connect with your Denver divorce mediator. Therefore, you’ve got to ask a lot of questions to find out what mediation style your mediator adheres to.

divorce attorney denver

When you ask questions about how your Denver divorce mediator conducts the mediation process, then you’ll be confident that you’ve chosen the right mediator. A few specific questions about how a mediator goes about the process might be things like: “How do you react when one partner seems to be dominating the conversation?” or “Could you describe your mediation style?” Asking questions like these ensures that you know how your mediator works.

3. Will It Be Possible to Have Private Meetings?

Understandably, couples have anxieties about coming to a consensus that will best benefit them. So, you might want to schedule private meetings with your Denver divorce mediator so that you can discuss your personal goals without your partner present. However, in many instances, your mediator will not agree to this, because the point of mediation is to come to an agreement with both parties present.

It should be noted that sometimes couples do reach a dead end, and it might seem as though they cannot reach a decision without a private meeting. In an instance like this, your mediator might advise that you call a “caucus” which is essentially a very short private meeting. Your Denver divorce mediator will know what is best, so be sure to talk to them if you are interested in learning more about why private meetings are not always advised.

4. Must I Follow What We Decide at Mediation?

When it comes down to it, the answer here is “yes and no.” Unlike an official court proceeding, you are not mandated to follow the results that come from the mediation process if you do not sign a binding contract. Of course, it is good practice to follow the results put forward in a mediation session, because if you do not, it is always possible you will have to go to court later.

Again, as we mentioned earlier, if you and your spouse are in an abusive relationship, or if you are not on talking terms with them, Denver divorce mediation might not be the most logical option for your situation. You and your spouse are not mandated to act in accordance with what happens at mediation (if no contract is signed). So, if you think your spouse will not agree to the terms set, you might want to proceed with a formal litigation process. It’s always good practice to follow the mediation agreement, but there is no legal action taken if someone doesn’t and there is no contract signed.

However, we should be very clear that oftentimes a contract will be signed at the end of a mediation session. When there is a legally binding contract involved, you will be mandated to follow it. So, depending on your situation, you may or may not be bound to follow the mediation results. Talk to your Denver divorce mediator about what category you fall into.

5. Can an Attorney Be Present at My Mediation Sessions?

It’s a good idea to talk to your Denver divorce mediator about the role attorneys play in the mediation process. Many couples do not go into the process knowing that attorneys are generally not present during mediation sessions. This is for many reasons, but one of the most important ones is the fact that attorneys often speak for couples—which is not what mediators want. Mediators want couples to come to a consensus together, as opposed to the couples’ attorneys doing all the negotiating. To understand the role attorneys play in the mediation process, ask your mediator.  

Mediation Is the Choice for Many, Choose Simple Split

Divorce is hard, but it doesn’t have to be impossible. At Split Simple, we are committed to helping spouses in Denver. If you are considering divorce, our team of experts might be able to make the process more seamless for you. For more information about our services, Contact Split Simple today.

Split Simple

1624 Market Street #202

Denver, CO 80202