Divorce Mediation: Ensuring Fairness for Husbands & Fathers
Uncontested Divorce Mediation
Posted September 17, 2020
Denver divorce mediation provides an ideal approach to achieve the fairest of divorce outcomes for all parties involved. Depending on a number of factors, the traditional system of relying solely on two lawyers on opposite sides often fosters outcomes that are less fair, especially for husbands and Fathers. When considering what is most fair, it’s important to consider the crucial benefits that come along with the mediation process.
When divorcing couples communicate, they tend to devolve into a pattern of argumentation. Yet, from emotions to responsibilities, the opportunity for each party to equally express themselves is vital to creating positive outcomes. Oftentimes, men are accustomed to minimal communication practices, and may therefore not adequately express their interests until the opportunity to do so is provided.
As a result of social-conditioning, many men may have been taught dramatically fewer words than women to emotionally express themselves to others. Underneath the two primary default reactions of anger and sadness, husbands may also be dealing with loneliness, frustration, confusion, and apathy. Within one session of mediation, husbands often find themselves much more aware and capable of communicating their emotions, which is essential for communicating the divorce outcomes they want.
Expression of Best Interests
The dynamics of best interests involve many factors, and what may be traditionally considered the best interests of the children, for example, may not in reality be in their best interests. Denver divorce mediation provides Fathers with the opportunity to express their perspectives on the best interests of their children, from school choices and residential location to custodial schedules.
Expression of Responsibility
Divorce often creates an offensive stance. For example, instead of thinking that Fathers want to provide for their children or Mothers want to sell the house, people start to assume that the bad EX is out to get them. Denver divorce mediation gives both parties the opportunity to express how and what they already plan to take responsibility for and want to provide.
When you enter a courtroom, you are entering the domain and platform of the judge. While judges are usually chosen to be the most ethical and fair, they still come from a particular perspective and may be widely recognized, for example, as a conservative or liberal judge. The fairness of a courtroom is, at minimum, restricted by rules, regulations, and time constraints. In other words, you can freely discuss a lot more via mediation than under oath.
Mediators are trained to come from a non-biased perspective, and they don’t come with generations of courtroom decisions based on, for example, Mothers obtaining primary custody of children. Social change occurs slowly, and when it enters large legal institutions, it must be accompanied by compelling proof and information. The fair platform of Denver divorce mediation ensures that husbands and Fathers are on even playing fields with their spouses and all pertinent information is brought to the legal table.
In the Denver divorce mediation room, each party is viewed as a parent. Mothers don’t get extra points for outdated notions of nurturing, and Fathers don’t get extra points for outdated notions of disciplining. The platform is parental, rather than separated by the perception of maternal and paternal functions and roles. The platform allows both parents to communicate as individuals parenting individuals. Most people don’t realize that in most cases, joint custody is the best option for the children.
Concerns about finances and assets often becomes the most heated topic during a divorce. Many husbands will automatically assume, for example, that wives are more likely to get the house or receive alimony. Mediation can help both parties open their eyes to the reality of equitable splitting of all financial elements, including debts and assets. The Denver divorce mediation platform is often essential to rationally and reasonably developing financial conversations to divorcing couples.
Divorce is full of conflict. From the first argument a couple had ten years ago about dining-out to the most recent disagreement about finances, couples rarely get to the point of actual negotiation when going through divorce. Plus, when it reaches a point that couples are no longer talking, it can take weeks for one piece of information to travel between both lawyers.
Mediation speeds-up this lengthy process, and it keeps couples focused on the negotiations at hand, instead of hashing-out old relationship issues. It’s also extraordinarily helpful for Fathers who may not understand all the avenues and factors they have to negotiate.
When divorcing couples are left to their own devices, they often start threatening one another. They may threaten to file for full custody, or they may say they found enough evidence for cheating to warrant a contested divorce and suing for all assets. Many times these threats hold no proof or real value, and are instead said out of hurt and anger.
Mediation helps put the real cards on the table. Idle threats are not tolerated during Denver divorce mediation, and they will be quickly shut-down if the other party can’t offer-up any proof. Unlike a verbal-boxing match, mediation is about what actually needs to be, and can be, negotiated during a divorce.
Attacking a partner’s character is another symptom of divorce. Over time, husbands and Fathers may start to take these character attacks to heart, and as a result, think they have no leg to stand-on when it comes to divorce negotiation. Mediation removes the elements of opinion from the negotiation process, and it may help husbands see clearly where and when their characters could actually be called into question during divorce proceedings.
Whether you never put the toilet seat down or didn’t take out the trash as often as your partner would like has nothing to do with divorce proceedings. While these factors may point to one of the underlying causes of divorce, they are simply not legally relevant. Denver divorce mediation keeps both parties on-track with what is relevant to the legalities of divorce.
Contact our Denver Divorce Mediators Today
The ultimate goal is an uncontested divorce that is fairest, simplest, quickest, and easiest for all parties involved. Trying to work things out as a couple is very difficult, and succeeding with an agreed divorce without professional help is extremely rare. On the other hand, dealing with issues solely through individual lawyers is very costly and time-consuming. If in doubt: mediate.
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