Court Rulings vs Mediation: Which is Better for Settling Divorce Conflicts?

Uncontested Divorce Mediation

Posted December 12, 2019

Fighting your spouse during a divorce is par for the course. Many spouses divorce because they can’t stop fighting, and it’s only natural for that conflict to continue into the terms of your divorce. Splitting marital assets, finances, and child custody often result in vicious and deeply personal disagreements. 

Courtroom Divorce vs Divorce Mediation

Often, spouses will feel that a courtroom divorce is more likely to swing wildly in their favor compared to a negotiated or divorce mediation in Denver. This leads couples to dispute their marital grievances and financial claims before a judge who ultimately has power over how your divorce is written. While it’s true that some amount of bias might be shown in the final ruling, courtroom divorces provide the least control over the terms of your divorce.

Divorce mediation in Denver, on the other hand, provides divorces that are decided through a collaborative effort. Even if you are conflicting with your spouse, a divorce mediator will try to find terms that are fair and productive for the future. A mediated divorce also provides time to fully explore or produce evidence for relevant circumstances, where a courtroom divorce often limits time for your perspective to minimal presentations and statements.

Conflict in Divorce

When you and your spouse are conflicting over divorce terms, often there is a desire to eschew the terms drastically in your favor. This may be due to past grievances, an imbalance in income status, or a dispute over personal property. When a hurt spouse has one overwhelming goal, like keeping the house or getting full custody, they can make decisions only based on that cause.

It’s important not to dive into divorce proceedings with tunnel-vision. Often, the best divorce outcome results from careful and measured choices, even when there is ongoing conflict.

Separating Property

Separating personal property is a delicate procedure in a divorce. Your possessions have been blended for so long that there are normal disputes of ownership, shared value, and total value division. It’s important to take care of keepsakes and meaningful items first, then discuss money. This requires more personal control 

Court Divorce

Court rulings in a divorce are notorious for clumsy property division. The court doesn’t see itself as there to safeguard personal feelings in property or money division. They are seeking the fastest mathematically equal solution possible, and a couple may not have a choice once the court is involved. It can result in lost financial opportunities and lost property-related memories.

Mediated Divorce

Mediated property division does include nuance for personal sentiment and lifestyles. Preserving the house might be essential to your divorce plan or you might plan to sell, and mediation will help you find the right solution. Mediation will consider how each spouse will live and how the property division will affect you after the divorce mediation in Denver is finalized.

Dividing the Marital Finances

divorce mediation in denver

The way finances are separated in a divorce is decided based on wealth, potential to work, and some elements of fairness. But many people misunderstand the meaning of fair in divorce financial terms. The court doesn’t always see fair terms the way you might, or even the way your spouse might. Though many people worry about the same from a mediator.

Court Divorce

Separating finances can get complicated in a divorce, often more complicated than spouses realize. You will need to separate your retirement accounts, new property, valuable personal items, and investments as well as banked funds. The court will slice these down the middle, or assign an imbalance based on a calculated difference in income.

Mediated Divorce

Mediated financial separation can allow you to create a more actionable and supportive division. With mediation, you can fairly divide financial assets without messy splitting of every account down the middle. You can also create a more supportive financial system for both spouses after the divorce mediation in Denver

Writing Divorce Terms

The detailed terms of a divorce can have a huge impact on your life. Your divorce terms can define where you can live, goals you must have, or how often you see your children. They define the same for your spouse. The best divorce terms are built to help both spouses quickly grow away from eachother personally and financially. But the best terms can’t always be found through the strong-arm tactics of television.

Court Divorce

Courtrooms write the arbitrary divorce terms by the book. You may be able to influence the defaults in one direction or another, but the decisions will always be within some standard book of divorce terms. There will be very little consideration for building your future. The focus is on finalizing a legal divorce, only.

Mediated Divorce

With divorce mediation in Denver, you can write any number of custom terms that will improve your life post-divorce more productive. The right divorce terms can provide support and aid with the transition to single life. But these intuitive and responsive divorce terms can only be found with a mediated or negotiated divorce contract.

Criminal Behavior and Violence

The single biggest exception to the rule is situations of violence or criminal behavior. If you are in danger or if family members are in danger, get the police involved immediately. This might automatically move your divorce into the courtroom, but the structure is there for your protection. Rely on the authorities to keep you safe from a dangerous spouse. Divorce mediation in Denver is only possible if your spouse is cooperative and non-violent.

Court Divorce

If you are in danger, this is the best time to handle your divorce through the court. The police and officers of the court will keep you safe and include terms like restraining orders in the divorce contract terms. Building a relationship with your local family court may also be smart if you expect trouble with child support or child custody obedience.

Mediated Divorce

If your spouse is not dangerous but is engaging in criminal behavior, you can go through divorce mediation in Denver. Your mediator may be able to provide advice on how to separate carefully from a criminal spouse without putting yourself in danger. But never hesitate to call the police if you are afraid for your safety or need to prevent a crime.

Disputes in Child Custody

Every family handles child custody differently. In many divorces, the differences in custody are practical. Parents split custody almost equally and work out the days of the week and individual holidays along the way. A good divorce agreement settles custody in a way that remains fair yet flexible as the children grow up and schedules change. This is sometimes possible with a court divorce, but nuance is achieved through mediation.

Court Divorce

Courtroom divorces are also notorious for broad strokes with child custody. Families are often separated in automatic ways that do not consider the needs or schedules of the individual family. A court can help you enforce basic child custody rules with a difficult spouse, but they often have no subtly in building a supportive child custody structure for growth.

Mediated Divorce

For divorcing spouses who plan to co-parent, mediation is better. A divorce mediation in Denvercan help you build a fair yet flexible system that will adapt as your children grow and your life circumstances change. Unlike a courtroom divorce, a mediator will balance your values and family traditions when building your child custody agreement.

Contact a Divorce Mediator in Denver Today

If you’re looking to reach an uncontested divorce in Denver we can help you and your spouse reach a settlement that works for both parties, without the need of a courtroom. Contact Split Simple today and see how we can take the pain out of getting a divorce.

Split Simple

1624 Market Street #202

Denver, CO 80202