9 Tips to Resolve Divorce Disputes Without Meeting in Person

Uncontested Divorce Mediation

Posted December 3, 2020

denver divorce mediator

Spouses seeking Denver divorce mediation today are facing a little more challenge than usual. The post-pandemic world has made it difficult to keep appointments or to meet up for coffee and compromise. In fact, you probably shouldn’t even meet with mediators or counselors to help the divorce along Lockdown has made it nearly impossible for newly divorcing couples to separate and for already separated couples to meet. All-said, those who achieved separation before or during the pandemic have got one of the hardest steps behind you.But conflicts in reaching terms can make it nearly impossible to finalize your divorce without those in-person meetings. Or so it seems.

Avoiding Courtroom Divorces in the Post-Pandemic

Conflict in Denver divorce mediation can be a huge problem when one or both parties don’t want to compromise. Often, the only solution is firm mediation or an adversarial process. Today, during pandemic conditions, a courtroom divorce is not a good option.  Courtrooms are not only a gathering place where illness can be spread, but courtroom divorces also take the control out of your hands. These proceedings are only necessary when the court truly needs to step in on a divorce – like when one spouse needs legal and physical protection from the other. If your divorce disputes are primarily focused on finances and custody, then you can choose to avoid the court this year.

Instead, it’s time to make plans to resolve your disputes remotely. As long as both parties want the divorce to take place, you can find middle-ground and eventually settle on an acceptable divorce agreement. Today, we’re here to help by providing a few key insights on how to divorce remotely and resolve any existing disputes without meeting in person.

Write Down Your Disputes and Counter-Arguments

The first step is to codify what you really disagree on. Divorcing couples can get stuck in the dispute phase where everything becomes an argument. So while you are living separately and contact is limited, each separately write down your real arguments. 

Write down:

  • The terms you want.
  • Why your spouse would or does object.
  • How you suggest making the Denver divorce mediation fair with the terms you want.

Writing can give you some perspective on what you are asking for and how to approach the dispute. Some realize the finances can’t be balanced without selling the house or one of the cars. Some realize they could be asking for more, or that there are negotiation points to offer to get what they want. A little forethought and codifying your needs can go a long way to settling disputes without lawyer intervention.

Choose a Video Meeting Platform & Do Test Calls

You will need to meet and discuss things with your spouse and with Denver divorce mediation professionals to settle the terms of your divorce. To do this, you will need a video meeting platform. Choose one that is common and easy to access so that you can meet with a variety of people through the one platform. Get to know your video platform and hold a few test-calls with family to ensure that all the features are working.

Then connect with yours spouse on the meeting platform and hold a test conference.

Agree on Shared Priorities

Talk to your spouse and find some common ground. Start with the basics, if you have to, and work your way up. Start with the fact that both of you want to get divorced, and you’ll have to work together to get that done. From there, you can probably agree that you don’t want to overspend and would rather wrap things up quickly, if possible.

After this point, work on other values you share. You may both agree to prioritize a mutual career re-launch, or to create a stable routine for the kids,  or to return all personal keepsakes without hostility.

Once you agree on a few basic priorities, solutions to disputes can be found through these means.

Agree to Limit Personal Commentary and Recollections

One of the best ways to minimize divorce disputes is to keep emotion to of it. If you can, agree with your spouse to limit personal commentary. Stay away from “You” and “Never/Always” statements when possible. Try not to bring up any memories of the past during negotiations, or you might get side-tracked by past emotions as well.

If you and your spouse can stick to the no-personal-commentary rule, you’ll be surprised how much negotiation bickering this can take from your Denver divorce mediation process.

Work With an Online Divorce Mediator

Most importantly, you don’t have to go it alone. A Denver divorce mediator is trained to work with both halves of a separation to draw up your divorce agreement terms. The difference between a mediator and divorce lawyers is the united aspect – and the cost. Divorce mediation focuses on finding the best terms for everyone involved, including both spouses, kids, and any other affected parties. The mediator does not “work for” either spouse, and instead works for the family to reach an all-round functional and satisfactory divorce.

The good news is that you don’t need to meet us in the office for a mediation meeting. Denver divorce mediation can be conducted via video meeting. By sitting around a virtual negotiation table, you can meet face-to-face with your soon-ex and mediator to discuss terms without breaking your quarantine order.

Settle Lesser Disputes First, then Examine Greater Disputes

It helps to tackle your disputes in order. Start with issues that are small, that you only slightly disagree on or have very little impact. This can give you something like practice-rounds for negotiating and finding solutions. Who takes the wedding present china and if you can call dibs on vacation spots can be settled early so you’re practiced when it’s time to talk about child custody or shared stock market investments.

Invite Older Children to Join Video Meetings

If you have children old enough to join the discussion on divorce terms, a remote Denver divorce mediation is actually the ideal scenario. Children can set up in the safety of their own home with a video device and become part of the remote meeting. This is a great platform for kids to join and share their perspective without the pressure of witnessing in court or even visiting a mediator’s conference room.

Use an Online Notary to Sign Papers

You don’t even have to come in to sign notarized papers. With the increasing use of online documents, notary publics have also opened online notarizing services. Using a camera to confirm your identity and signature, online notaries can confirm your signing of online documents with the same veracity as a live notarized document.

Use Courier and Movings Services to Transfer Items

Finally, make use of the local transport services when it comes time to trade personal items. The spouse with the house will likely need to send over more than a few items that were rightfully claimed in the divorce settlement, from furniture to personal keepsakes. Instead of driving over, use a task service or a moving service (depending on the amount of stuff to send over) so you don’t have to meet face-to-face.

Contact Divorce Mediators in Denver Today!

Getting divorced remotely is more possible than ever, and Split Simple is here to help. You can rely on our online Denver divorce mediation services to get your divorce back on track without having to meet in person. Contact Split Simple today for your initial divorce consultation and we’ll help you build a plan to settle disputes and craft a divorce that works for everyone involved.

Split Simple

1624 Market Street #202

Denver, CO 80202

720-501-4600