8 Tips to Stay Sane During Your Denver Divorce
Uncontested Divorce Mediation
Posted June 22, 2022
A divorce is a big time in anyone’s life. It’s a huge change in your routine, your legal and financial status, and the entire shape of your future. This can feel like a whole lot of stress and chaos in the moment. Divorces have a way of making you reflect on everything that’s come before, and often, a divorcee will start to feel the ground shift under them. Fortunately, this shift doesn’t have to be a house-crashing earthquake. you can ride that tectonic plate change to a new life and a new sense of stability if you can hold onto your sanity during the most chaotic part of this life transition.
The best way to stay sane during your Denver divorce mediation is to know the kind of roller coaster you’re about to get on (or are already riding) and how to handle each bump as it comes. That’s why today, Split Simple is talking about methods you can use to keep your perspective, mental clarity, and personal forward momentum during the divorce process and as you adapt to your new solo life.
1. Build a New Routine
Marriage has a way of creating a routine. Maybe it wasn’t a great routine, maybe it had some flaws, but it was “normal” for you. Breaking up that routine first by separating from your spouse and then by actually building a life separate from them can feel like the ground slipping out from under you. Your “normal” will be gone and many divorcees report feeling somewhere between adrift and deeply disturbed by not knowing what to do with themselves in the evening or even just waking up somewhere new.
Here’s the trick: Your know your life is going to change and you’re changing it by design. So face this challenge like you would face a new job or the simple task of moving to a new house: build a new routine.
Start getting up at a different time in the morning, and doing different things with your after-work hours. Add new recipes to your daily roster – perhaps with flavors and aromas your ex didn’t like – and build yourself an enjoyable new bedtime routine with luxurious self-care or watching an episode of your favorite show. Do things in a new way, make it your routine, and you’ll forget your old routine sooner than you realize.
2. Talk It Out with Someone Who Can Listen
Find someone who can listen when you need to talk it out. This may be a good friend, a counselor, or a relative who’se known you your entire life. It’s not what you say, but your ability to get it all out. Denver divorce mediation generates a lot of emotions and thoughts -Some thoughts you want to keep, and many that you won’t. Talking it out helps you sort out the chaos in your own mind by organizing it into words and examining each thought as it is spoken.
Your friend and confidant can also help you examine your mental process and, by doing so, help you find a more stable place to be and how to focus on the healthiest thoughts for you right now.
3. Rebuild Connections to Your People and Reach Out to Old Friends
Are there people you want to keep in your life? Reach out to them and rebuild your relationship as a solo person instead of half a couple. Now is an important time to rebuild connections and relationships as two separate people who often choose to split their friend group or see mutual friends separately during this time.
Did you lose touch with any friends or relatives during your marriage? This is normal, and now is the right time to reconnect. Use social media and friends-of-friends to reach out to people you miss, people you find yourself thinking of today, and people who could be good friends again even after a long gap. Family members are often happy so see you again and understanding about the struggles of a tough relationship and divorce, while you will discover the ups and downs your old friends have experienced as well during the intervening years.
4. Take Time to Really Enjoy Some Self-Care
We know, we know, divorce tips always include “Take care of yourself”. But we’ll do you one better. Don’t just remember to brush your teeth and keep eating food during this stressful and distracting time. Actually take time to really enjoy your self-care. Draw bath or sit down in the hot shower. Buy yourself some nice oils, scrubs, and and brushes or combs – even the gentlemen -and make yourself feel awesome.
Style a new look or just soak and enjoy your body for what it is and the hedonistic simplicity of being you. Not only will you be “taking care of yourself” as all the advice books say, you will also be reconnecting to your holistic self to build yourself up from a foundation of essential self – being content just to be.
5. Refocus On Your Career and Personal Goals
If your brain is running in circles around your personal life, refocus on what you want for yourself professionally, instead. Aiming for that next promotion or learning a new skill to build your professional value are easier goals to set when your personal life is in upheaval.
Consider where you want to be professionally in a year and the steps you can take to accomplish that with speed, confidence, and style. You might throw yourself into your daily tasks with new interest and gusto, or find enjoyable distraction in learning new systems as your mind craves new puzzles and challenges to focus on.
You can also set personal goals like your side-hustle, your fitness, handicrafting, home renovations, and other distractions that move you forward in life with every well-spent hour.
6. Rediscover Your Art
Do you enjoy creating art? You don’t have to be a world-class artist to make pieces worth hanging on your wall, giving as gifts, and maybe even selling on handmade marketplaces like Etsy. Your Denver divorce mediation is a surprisingly good time to rediscover your passion and potential for artistic expression.
Get yourself some canvas and acrylic paints, or a pack of modeling clay, or a big box of colored pencils and a sketchbook and let the artist free. This might be the perfect way to express tumultuous emotions or to find your inner peace while also rediscovering a skill and passion that may have fallen by the wayside during your marriage.
7. Get Your Kids Involved in the “New You”
If you have children, one of the best ways to help yourself and them to move forward during the Denver divorce mediation process is to discover the “new you” together.
Invite your children to sit on the bed while you pull out every piece of clothing in your closet and decide if it’s still “you”. Let them play dress-up with your old outfits and accessories, give them old things of yours, and work together on what to sell, hand down the family line, or donate. Do your artistic exploration together with watercolors and acrylic paint or two rounds of clay side-by-side.
Kids like to be an important part of their parents lives, and this rebuilding of your routine and “self” together will help them feel like you’re changing with them instead of away from them.
8. Get a New Pet or Start a New Project
Some people also thrive on taking in a new pet or taking on a big project. A new pet can absorb a lot of love and provide a happy, encouraging distraction from emotional places where the family may need to heal. Living alone and/or when your children are with the other parent, a pet can help any house feel ‘lived in’ and welcoming instead of empty.
Not a pet person? Already have a pet? Start a new project, instead. Finally get around to refinishing that antique dresser, or start learning a new skill, or join a group, cause, or start hand-making the best Halloween costume of your life. Keeping busy and pursuing a passion can be very rewarding during an otherwise chaotic time in your life.
Contact a Divorce Attorney in Denver Today
Staying sane during your Denver divorce mediation involves both processing your feelings and finding ways to ride out the mental and logistical chaos if this big changing time period in your life. While Split Simple can’t tell you whether to take up painting or try your hand at programming, we can help you complete your divorce as quickly and with as little stress as possible through Denver divorce mediation. Contact Split Simple today to find out more.
1624 Market Street #202
Denver, CO 80202
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