8 New Year’s Resolutions for Getting Divorced
Uncontested Divorce Mediation
Posted January 4, 2023
The New Years’ and divorce have a lot in common. In both situations, you are looking back at the path behind you – often with a certain amount of regret – and getting ready to start fresh on the future ahead. Divorce leaves you a new person; newly single and newly able to make decisions 100% for yourself. Whether you are in the midst of a divorce right now or just recently finalized, now is the perfect time for a few powerful New Years resolutions.
Here at Split Simple, we help divorcing people make decisions and plans for the future alll the time – any time of year. But we know that New Years’ is a special time for those who are starting a new chapter of their life at the same time as the new year begins.
So for all those who are getting divorced or have recently divorced this winter, here are some great New Years’ resolution for a bright year of flying solo ahead of you.
Focus on Your Future
The single best resolution when getting divorced is to focus on the future. Instead of looking back to the past and thinking about what else could have happened, focus on what you can do today – with your two hands, two feet, and powerful human brain. What can you do? Where can you go? What new relationships can you forge or new career achievements can you attain?
The past is behind you, but the future rolls out like a red carpet. Now is your chance to reinvent yourself based on who you are as an adult and what you want to do with your life; starting from this moment.
Make Smart Financial Decisions Every Day
Another powerful resolution (for anyone) is to resolve to be financially smart each day. Challenge yourself to think twice about impulse-buys and always look for the best price. Be proud of yourself every time you make a tasty meal at home instead of ordering out.
Life presents us with the opportunity to make financial mistakes or wise choices every day. The more you try to make careful and smart financial decisions, the more of those opportunities will leave you feeling stronger and with more in your pocket than where you started. When building a new life after a divorce, smart money decisions can make the difference between struggling and thriving on your own.
Be the Best Co-Parent You Can Be
If you have children with your ex, now is the time to step up and become an incredible new person: A co-parent. Co-parenting isn’t like parenting at home because you have to work like a remote yet coordinated team with your ex. When to swap, for how long, and where the kids will be at all times is something you’ll need to coordinate. The more civil and savvy you can be during this necessary teamwork, the happier you and your children will be.
Don’t just let co-parenting happen, make your New Years’ resolution to become an active participant. Look for opportunities to co-parent better; to get involved in your children’s lives where they want you to and to step up when there’s a scheduling gap or hiccup in the plans. Your kids will see how much you care and often, they will meet you in the middle to make co-parenting easier on everyone.
Accept Who You Are, Today
Often after Denver divorce mediation, you may find yourself reflecting on who you used to be and how you became the person you are today. This personal journey is important, but it also doesn’t need to be all-consuming. As you come out the emotional other side of your divorce, resolve to accept yourself as who you are, today.
You are an older, more mature person than you were when the marriage began. You know more than you did. You’ve seen darker parts of the world but you’ve also become more capable of handling the world around you. Today, you are who you are. You like what you like. Anything that happens from here is built on that foundation.
Make Time for Your Divorce Mediation Meetings
If your divorce is not yet complete, resolve to make time for your divorce mediation meetings. A divorce mediation session in Denver only takes two hours each time, with a focus on reaching conclusions and finding the best terms for both spouses to effectively move foward. You can complete a divorce in just a few sessions with your Denver divorce attorneys – but you do need to schedule them at a time when you and your ex are available.
This year, resolve to complete your divorce with efficiency by scheduling and working with your Denver divorce attorneys until your divorce agreement is ready to submit.
Avoid Speaking Negatively About Your Ex
One divorce-era resolution that most divorcees benefit from is the resolve to avoid negative talk. It can be so tempting to bad-mouth your ex. Many parents, especially, don’t even realize they are trash-talking until the kids ask them to stop. Don’t put that negativity onto your children, friends, or family. Save yourself from reinforcing negative feelings. Resolve this year to put down the negative talk and focus only on the relevant factors that matter today. It is not only good for the airwaves, you’ll also find your mental health improving when negativity isn’t your go-to response.
Pick One New Thing to Invest In with Post-Divorce Finances
Challenge yourself. New Years’ resolutions are often used so we can challenge ourselves to do something important. So this year, challenge yourself to find one new thing to invest in with your post-divorce finances. Pick one stock or mutual fund that’s going strong. Buy a rental house or even just plant a garden. Put your finances, time, and/or energy into an investment in something completely new. Use it to mark the beginning of a new chapter in your life where what you do is your choice to make alone.
Spend Time Taking Care of Yourself
Last but not least, resolve to take time for self care. Real self care that involves a little pampring yourself and thinking about your health in a holistic way. Start having healthy smoothies for breakfast. Use Vitamin E on your hair and skin. Attend to those little health issues you’ve been ignoring for bigger matters. Take a little time to reinvent your grocery shopping and weekly menu. Find a gym membership or a home workout routine you can really enjoy.
The one thing everyone can agree on is that post-divorce is all you-time. So take time for you this year.
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