5 Things You Should Never Do During Your Denver Divorce Mediation

Uncontested Divorce Mediation

Posted September 20, 2023

The latest statistics show that 3 people per 1,000 inhabitants in Colorado went through the legal process of divorce in 2021. That might not seem like all that many people, but you must consider the fact that this statistic accounts for every inhabitant in the state regardless of their marital status. Additionally, it only accounts for those who went through a divorce specifically in 2021. Therefore, the divorce rate is significant and something that you should contemplate as a possibility to occur in your own life. If you ever end up in a situation where you must go through divorce mediation in the Denver area, you need to know what to do. Today, we will specifically focus on what you should avoid saying when you are going through divorce mediation.

1) Don’t Get Overly Aggressive

Some people jump into Denver divorce mediation with the mindset that they must win at all costs. They get overly aggressive when they approach the mediation, and they think that they have to get everything that they want. The problem with this is that mediation is about compromise and working things out with the other party. It is not always easy to see eye to eye with someone that you are going through a divorce with. However, it is best to try to work through the obstacles that might come up along the way.

If you dig your heels in and refuse to compromise on anything, then you may find yourself in court. The downside to that is that you will ensure a lot of extra costs and frustration trying to get your divorce solved once and for all. Think carefully about how you will approach the mediation process and try to come into it with a level head.

2) Don’t Intentionally Anger Your Spouse

Many people going through a divorce find themselves in a tough spot. They feel emotionally hurt, and they want to do everything that they possibly can to anger their spouse. Survive Divorce explains why this is a bad choice when going through mediation:

While you were married pushing buttons may have been great fun and a form of inflicting pain or perceived revenge, but now it will just flat out be counter-productive to the mediation process.

denver divorce mediation attorney

The Denver divorce mediation process is meant to help you figure out how to move forward with your former spouse. Things will never be the same as when you were married, but you can at least take some strides in the right direction. It is all too easy to fall into the habits of angering your spouse to make yourself feel better. However, this will not play well within the legal system. You need to be more mature than that, and you need to show that you are ready to move on as an adult.

3) Don’t Give Out Unnecessary Personal Information

The mediator overseeing your process will already know a significant number of personal details about you and your situation. You should NOT provide them with additional details related to who you are as a person. A few of the personal details that can truly come back to bite you include:

  • Plans for revenge against your spouse
  • Sensitive information about your spouse or children
  • Any details about a criminal record you may have
  • Opinions about social issues of the day (not relevant)
  • Any unflattering personal information about yourself

These are all pieces of information that might seem relevant to who you are as a person. However, these pieces of information are NOT relevant to the Denver divorce mediation process, and you should not bring them up when you don’t have to.

4) Don’t Make Claims About What Your Attorney Can or Cannot Do

Some people like to beat their chests and claim that their attorney is going to get them a certain result related to the mediation and divorce process. This is a mistake you should avoid making. Divorcedgirlsmiling.com makes it clear that making claims about what your attorney can or cannot do is a bad idea:

Whether it is a certain parenting schedule, the house, keeping your retirement when it is twice that of your spouse’s or Christmas Eve overnight every year, your attorney cannot dictate what agreements you might make in Denver divorce mediation.

The reality is that your attorney will do their best to fight for your interests in the divorce process, but he or she can only do so much. At the end of the day, both sides have to try to come together related to the terms of an agreement that you strike with the other side. If you start to make claims about what your attorney can pull off, you may find that your attorney can’t live up to your expectations. Worse yet, you could anger the other side and cause them to take stronger actions against you during the proceedings. 

5) Don’t Insist on Going to Court

Taking your divorce all the way to court should only be something that you do in the event that you have exhausted all other options. The reality is that the mediation process can often unlock the results that you want and need to get out of your divorce. Instead of dragging things into court, you could also decide to try to smooth things over with your spouse and come to an agreement that everyone can live with.

There are a number of upsides to solving your problems in the Denver divorce mediation process, including:

  • It will cost you less financially
  • You can avoid the frustration of dragging yourself and/or children into court
  • You won’t have a slew of court dates and other legal requirements to keep up with
  • You might get a better deal by working things out instead of letting a judge decide

Enter the Denver divorce mediation process with an open mind and understand that you can walk away from the process better than when you entered it. Know when to keep your mouth shut and understand what you should avoid saying as much as what you should say. When you put it all together, the mediation process is meant to benefit everyone. Remember that as you enter this taxing time.

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